In the first part of the conference we talked about how life is a
succession of beginnings and endings.
And if in the first video we focused on what the
end of the working stage might mean,
now we will focus on what the beginning of a new stage can entail.
Every principle, every beginning, represents an opportunity, and retirement puts us
before a great opportunity,
because a series of conditions come together that rarely
occur in life.
A new stage opens up that we can build from the ground up, when
everything or almost everything is yet to be done.
And what's more, we can do it with far fewer ties, with fewer obligations,
with a time availability that we surely hadn't had for
many years,
with more freedom of action, and also with the accumulated experience and
personal maturity
that grant us a privileged perspective.
In short, we have many elements in our favor for this stage
to be what we want it to be.
Furthermore, we must bear in mind that it is a stage that has changed a lot
compared to what happened decades ago.
If we think of a person who retired 40, 50, 60 years ago,
we see a person with very evident signs of aging
and with a decrease in capabilities that could be quite obvious.
And the years of quality life in full autonomy that we had
ahead, on average, were few.
Furthermore, society in the pre-technological era offered few
interesting alternatives,
so for many people, letting time pass was the main
occupation.
Now things are very different.
A person around 65 years old can feel in full health,
with very good capacities, both physical and mental,
and this can last for many years.
So, they have a period ahead of them that can not only be quite
long,
but also quite rewarding and stimulating.
And a rewarding and stimulating period to do what?
That is the big question.
What is it that we really want to do?
This is the key issue.
And why is it the key issue?
We must stop and think about it carefully,
going within ourselves so as not to be carried away by inertia.
Because we often do things out of inertia,
because we are fine with it,
for comfort or to please third parties.
And we forget to look deep inside ourselves to find out,
wow, now that I have the possibility to choose,
what is it that I really want to do from now on.
Because I can also do it without thinking about results,
without thinking about productivity,
without thinking about calendars or delivery deadlines.
I can set the pace,
and I can do things as I see fit.
So, what would I like to do?
What is that thing I have been waiting so long to be able to do?
What excites me? What motivates me?
What can fill and fulfill me in this stage?
And perhaps some of you already have all this well thought out and decided,
but others perhaps not.
In any case, let's keep in mind that there is no rush.
Let's take the time we need, without rushing.
Without fear of spending some time doing nothing special.
It is a time to create,
to build, to imagine, to get excited.
Or maybe it is also the time,
the moment to dare to deploy new roles
and new capacities that until now we had kept in reserve.
Every new project needs a maturation time.
And since now we will have more time,
we will be less distracted
and the conditions for this creativity will be much more
favorable,
to awaken this creativity.
Therefore, and indeed, and this is important, we must not rush.
But we must remember what we said in the first part,
the vertigo of the empty agenda
and the relationship we have with activity or with the lack
of activity.
And this may cause that, upon stopping work activity,
we quickly look for how to fill this space with new activities.
Then we will be as busy and stressed as before, or more.
And this is no joke.
I know many retired people who are now much more stressed
than when they worked,
because they sign up for everything, they don't say no to anything.
And, furthermore, this is without the order of the work schedule,
but with complete disorder.
And considering that as we get older,
we tolerate hyperactivity worse,
well, it makes them quite busy.
And, furthermore, if we get involved and immediately become full of activity,
we will not have that calm we need to figure out,
inside us, what it is we would really like to do.
We must take into account this temptation of over-activity
or of easily burdening ourselves with new obligations.
We must think very carefully before giving away or wasting our
freedom.
Let's remember, as we have already said, that we are the society of doing,
that it is very difficult for us to have gaps in our agenda,
because it seems to us that we are not making the most of our time.
Let's make sure we really do what we want to do now that we can choose.
And in this sense, another situation that we must keep in mind
has to do with others.
Why? Because it is not at all uncommon that when we retire,
others, the people around us,
think we are at their disposal
because we have nothing better to do.
And then comes that thing that look, now you can run errands for me,
you can drive me here or there,
you can pick up the children from school,
you can babysit every day, etc.
And all of this can be very good, I'm not saying no,
as long as you are the one who chooses and decides it.
And that your time continues to be yours
and that others do not organize their lives using your time.
Because otherwise it can happen that we end up trapped in a kind of wheel
from which it is very difficult for us to escape later
and that was not what we had imagined and were excited about.
Let's remember how easy it is to go from a favor that is appreciated
to an obligation that is demanded.
That is why we must remember that your life is yours
that your time is yours
and that you must feel free to dispose of it as you wish
in a way that is exciting and at the same time, all of it, has meaning.
New activities and new life order.
It will be important to maintain order.
An orderly and tidy life helps to have an orderly mind
and vice versa, an orderly mind translates into an orderly life.
What happens? Well, upon stopping having hourly obligations,
the work schedule, we can easily fall into disorder.
And this as a rule is not usually good.
From time to time, we like disorder and it works for us.
But as a rule, as a habit, it is not usually very good.
Maintaining a certain order in our schedules already adapted to the new life,
an order in the time we wake up, at meal times,
at the time we go to sleep,
will help us have a healthy lifestyle
which will translate into greater well-being, our body will thank us for it.
That is why it is necessary to have a bit of self-discipline
to have this orderly life.
Not as an end goal, not order for its own sake,
but because order returns to me in the form of well-being,
in the form of this healthier lifestyle.
That is why we will have to self-impose it.
This order, this healthy lifestyle,
has to do with health and, precisely,
retirement can also be a good time
to review our health habits.
Sometimes we think that when we are very busy
we don't have time to look, to be meticulous about this,
but perhaps now we have the opportunity to take better care of ourselves
and to dedicate a little more time to ourselves.
And it can be a good time not to start a round of medical
appointments,
but to listen to ourselves a little more,
to become aware that, to a large extent,
we are the main people responsible for our health.
And understanding that good health habits
are not limited, they do not have to do with prohibitions,
impositions, or rules,
but with the fact that I want to feel good,
therefore, I want to take care of myself and I want to do those things
that make me feel good and that provide me with well-being,
because I am the one who must take the most care of myself.
Then, for example, we can review our eating habits
and then without the time constraints that work entails,
perhaps we have it easier to follow both in terms of schedule
and diet,
a more careful diet, more consistent with our way of
thinking, etc.
Or maybe we are already fine as it is, but at least reviewing it is not
too much.
We can also review how well we sleep,
how the change in life impacts the sleep rhythm.
Maybe we should sleep better or maybe we should sleep worse or we continue to sleep
the same.
In any case, reviewing it, if we can improve something,
will always be good because sleep is a physiological necessity
that also leads to more health.
Or we can, now we will have more time,
look to increase our physical activity,
which is another fundamental component of a healthy lifestyle,
but looking for an activity that we find pleasant
and that is therefore sustainable over time
and an activity that is appropriate, proportionate,
to our current capabilities, not the ones we had at 20 or 30.
And this will also provide us with a return in the form of well-being.
And furthermore, we have a great opportunity to be much more attentive
to our mental health, which is always the great forgotten one.
And to care for and listen a little more to our emotional balance.
We all know what those things are that help us rebalance,
and which are those that rather take us out of our center and
unbalance us.
Well, just as we take the sugar pill
or the blood pressure pill in the morning,
we'll have to take, to administer, self-administer,
those things we know are good for us
for our mental health, for our emotional balance.
It might be walking in nature,
or socializing and going out with friends,
or artistic activities, etc.
Whatever helps us, to take care of ourselves from this point
of view.
And do it with an expanded view,
with an expanded perspective that is my health and my mental health.
Understanding that I, as a human being,
am a kind of combination of ingredients
that are all important for the final product,
which is me and my health, to feel good.
Understanding that feeling good is not just a physical matter
of how the lab tests or medical tests turn out,
but it has to do with the totality of my person,
with my emotional balance, what we said about caring for it,
with the quality of my social relationships
Therefore, all this depends much more on ourselves
than we might initially think.
This stage is also a good opportunity
to go further and work on feeling good about ourselves
and with all our past, present, and future life history.
And feeling good has a lot to do with meaning.
It's always essential in life to find meaning in what we do,
in what happens to us in life,
and also in what we want to do, our future projects.
When we find meaning in it, then what we do, what we want to do,
motivates us, excites us, moves us,
helps us to fulfill ourselves more, to feel in fullness as
people.
Well, this change that we have now with retirement
is a great opportunity to do it this way,
to think it through well, because, as we said, we are much less constrained.
Experiencing this meaning allows us to align ourselves,
to harmonize with who we really are
and with what we want from life, because it is no more than that.
Being aligned with oneself means coherence
with what is important to me,
with my true priorities,
but mine, which I must know,
mine, not those that society tells me
or those that third parties tell me.
I must know what is important to me at this stage of my life.
And then is when our decisions,
such as the decision of what I want to do,
what I want to dedicate myself to, where I want to invest my time,
must go precisely aligned
with these priorities and with this meaning.
Priorities, what is important, and meaning go hand in hand,
they necessarily go hand in hand.
And then is when everything flows, when I am doing what
is coherent with what is important to me and has meaning for me,
everything goes smoothly.
This meaning can sometimes be a little hard for us to find,
but we don't have to invent it.
Nor should it be imposed on us from outside,
but we must discover
the meaning that doing this or doing that other thing can have.
It's a very personal discovery process,
which is sometimes not automatic and can be difficult for us.
That's why reflection is needed.
That's why we need to dedicate a little time to thinking it through,
because every moment and every stage of life is different
and this one is also different from the previous ones.
And precisely what can help us
in this connection with what is most internal,
the most essential for us
is the reduction of distractions caused by activities.
We are a very hyperactive society and this keeps us permanently distracted.
We are a very distracted society by an excess of activities,
by an excess of obligations,
because leisure alternatives are endless,
because there is a lot of noise
and all this makes it very difficult for us to connect with ourselves
to find out, for example, what I want to do,
what is the meaning of what I want to do from now on.
We need a time of calm,
a time of quality,
a certain silence of mind.
And now we will be able to have many better opportunities
because we will have the conditions.
We must value doing nothing
as a facilitating tool.
Not doing nothing for the sake of doing nothing,
but precisely because this doing nothing
helps us generate the atmosphere
to advance in this self-knowledge
among ourselves,
to take care of our inner dimension,
which is where a good part of our well-being is played out
and from there find out what meaning what we want to do from now on has
for us.
Well, let's recap then.
We are the main people responsible for our life
and for what we want our life to be
after retirement.
We have a great opportunity ahead of us full of hope
and in which we can not only dedicate time to doing things
or to new projects,
and to take care of ourselves from a broad and multidimensional perspective.
And at the same time we must be capable of looking back
valuing what we have done, highlighting everything we have done
and using all this legacy in something positive
that reconciles us with our life
and helps us enjoy the present and the future.